Wayward Daughter

[Anita]

Goddesses, I received this request for help this week... anyone willing to contribute their thoughts? As we know, teenage girls are so complex - I think this is a topic that needs the advice of a community...

Hi Anita

I was wondering if you could help me with a spell or ritual to bring back a wayward teenage daughter. I appreciate anything you could suggest in this matter.

Thank you so much, J

[Anita]

Ms J, a question from one of the InnerGoddess gals...

"I would firstly like to know your daughters age and a little bit about her background. ie is she at school/work and so forth. I have had experience in helping 'out of control' or confused adolescents." ~ Lyn

[Andrea Worthington]

As the mother of a teenage girl (now 17 years old), who has witnesses my daughter's amazing unfolding and staggering development of independence, I empathize with request of J. My daughter stopped seeing me as an ally about 5 years ago and at first I thought that I was the "safe" one to act out all the anger, fears, frustrations that she did not show to the world. The constant fury and negative energy has worn me down and diminished me and that does not make me a very effective mother.
I alternate between being very afraid for her and of her and being very proud of how she navigates the world, her self pride, her strengths.
Do you know the work of Byron Katie? A snapshot of her ideas is to step back and realize that what a daughter does triggers the "stuff" inside the mother. It is not about the daughter...the feelings, fears and frustrations are in the mother. Unless the child is doing something highly illegal or putting herself in mortal danger.....I think the work of mothers of teeenage daughters is to put their own queenly realm in order.
When I do that (working on making my own life the best it can be..inside and out) my daughter is much more open to being with me and seeks my advice. The ritual you seek should be for yourself.
It is such a challenge!

[RaevynKiss]

I fully empathize with you! I've raised two daughters who are now wonderful adults and can tell you that this, too, shall pass. Like Anita has mentioned, I wonder about your daughter's age and background. Andrea has given you some great advice here, already. All I can add is that sometimes we have to let our daughters and sons learn lessons, which is unpleasant for all involved, to say the least.

The most important thing I can tell you is to BE THERE for your daughter, meaning doing the best you can to understand, supporting her wiser actions and to pick up the pieces, if necessary, when she gets through what I hope is a phase most of them just have to go through. "Cutting the cord" and becoming themselves isn't easy on them or on us, as any of us who have been there well know. However, I can tell you that both of my daughters actually thanked me (one even asked how I ever put up with it) and we have wonderful relationships. I do hope that offers you some encouragement... and that you receive much, much more! :)

Many Blessings to you both! The Blissings will come!
RK )O(

[Janine Ward]

My daughter is 17yrs old she has a full time traineeship in the local law office. My husband and I noticed a change in her behaviour quite a few months ago. We have been told that she is taking drugs, she has also started some sort of relationship with a 26yr old man who has been jailed for 8yrs for attempted murder we've been informed she has been going down to visit him on a regular basis, i have informed the prison she is under age and they have now ceased any contact however she still tries to communicate with him, she has also been putting tattoos on herself without parental consent she has regular mood swingsgoes to nightclubs and has now moved out of home. I feel she has negative energy around her as well as not loving or respecting herself.

[RaevynKiss]

Well, this is quite different from what I would consider run-of-the-mill rebellion, Janine! My heart goes out to you! I'm so glad you intervened with her visits to that man!!! We love our kids so much and want the best, but sometimes we need help that we just don't know how to give them ourselves. We need someone to help us help our kids with a problem such as this, is what I'm saying here. If she is taking drugs, and most especially the "hard" drugs, I would say there must be intervention of some sort. Have you looked into counselling specifically for this? She is definitely not loving or respecting herself and I know that is so sad and hard for you to deal with. I will be keeping you and yours in my thoughts and prayers, as well. I do hope someone has more advice for you about this!

Blessings to you and your family, too, Stacie!

[Lyn Busuttil]

Hi Janine - my heart goes out to you and your husband. As Jennifer posted; make Yes a firm YES, with love, and No a very strong NO! Hard as it will be, you have to let your daughter move through this phase, give her space and time. As long as you are there for her when she comes knocking on your door. And she will, one day.
Unless she is prepared to seek help there is nothing much you can do for her apart from love her and yes, this may not seem enough but you have to be strong. It's called 'Tough Love'. Do not rescue her.
In my own experience as a mother of four adult sons one of whom hit the rails at 15, he left home and moved in with a girl much older than he. He turned to drugs and all other sorts of illicit activities and eventually lived on the streets until one day he returned totally broken at 17. Out of this nightmare he is now a healthy 29 yo and has a beautiful son of his own. He is well aware of the anguish he put us all through but more importantly himself. It is a hard wave to ride but you must be strong and take care of yourself first then you will be in a better position to be there for her when she is ready. Sometimes we have to let them go in the hope that some day they will return. The more you push the farther away she will go. She is lost and scared but she does not understand. And most important of all Janine - you must NOT blame yourself. A big pink bubble of love and protection is being sent to you and your daughter.
Lyn

[stacie baggett]

I will be glad to help look for one as well.. I to am having trouble with my daughter. Made it through one son already whew what a handful that was but he is still here and loving me and seems for the most part to be doing well with his job and school.. But i know all to well of the sleepless nights and wondering if you have made the right choice . Now i am at it with her grrrr... but i will keep you in and her in my thoughts and prays as i hope you will us blessings to you and your family . dreams

[Jennifer Ann Meade Brashear]

Love her no matter what (you don't have to love what she does). Don't allow her actions to rule your emotional state. Let your yes be yes and your no be no - make sure you have a very justifialbe reason for no. Trust the All to take care of her - she is almost out of your care.